I’m sorry this is a bit long, but I have a lot to cover. I’m a 19 year male and I have no idea where else to turn about this. First of all, I am a virgin. I don’t have a girlfriend, and I don’t really want one right now. I’m not planning on having sex either. However, that doesn’t change the fact that I want it and think about it a lot. What I desire out of sex seems to be something that nobody else can give me. I know this will sound really messed up, but I like the idea of having a casual conversation during sex. You know, just talking, maybe even laughing a little. Maybe it sounds weird to some people, but my thinking is that it’s a relationship that is so close that we are able to communicate deeply and have fun, even during sex. I mean, it just seems to boring just sitting there and saying nothing. To me, that just feels weird.
Maybe it’s just because I’m a very weird guy myself. I have ideas that people think I’m absolutely insane for having. But oh well, I’m unique, and I like that. But anyways, getting past that one part, there are other things I really need to mention. I’m not proud of it, but I’ll admit that I’ve had webcam sex with girls in chat rooms. I mean I guess my thinking is that it’s ok because it’s just casual fun and I’m not actually doing it in real life, but I don’t really know. Maybe I’m just playing around and experimenting, like some guys do. I have a lot of dirty fantasies. I mean like having multiple partners and sharing my wife (my currently non existent wife who probably wouldn’t go along with it anyways :3). And you know, maybe it’s just the male mind because it’s typically believed that males are programed to have as many female partners as possible to spread their genes, and it’s just me being a guy. I’d like to think I’m better than that, but who knows.
I’m very unsure if I want kids or not. I mean, if I didn’t, I could pretty much do whatever I wanted. But if I did, I feel that it would be in my best interest to be a good role model for them, and for me to go out and have lots of wild and crazy sex just wouldn’t be good. I’m not into anything extreme and weird, but there’s a lot of stuff I’d like to try I guess. I’m not at all ashamed of being a virgin. People flaunt their sex like it’s such a big deal. I’m a pretty romantic guy, and I honestly don’t think sex is all THAT important. I think it’s really no big deal. You meet up, have sex, spread your genes, and that’s that. I’ve learned that their are several different levels of sex, and you want a different level at different times. Sometimes you want it to be extremely loving and romantic, sometimes you just really want raw, purely animalistic sex. People like to believe they are above that, but when you get right down to a human’s basic traits, they are still just animals and they have basic needs and desires like every other animal.
used to be pretty uptight about sex, but now I’m more accepting. I even accept people who are promiscuous, as long as they are nice people, I have no problem with them. It really isn’t any of my business anyways. That doesn’t change the fact that I would rather wait until having sex, but I’m just tired of judging others. Too many people do this nowadays and they need to get over it. I guess what I’m asking is what do I do? Part of me just wants to go out and have sex any chance I get. Another part wants me to stay a virgin. I don’t really know what to do anymore. Maybe I just have a high sex drive, but I can’t help it. Can you please help me?