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I masterbate but dont let myself ejaculate is this harmful o beneficial?

Im an 18 year old male who has been struggling with an masterbation addiction since the age of 14. I’ve masterbated almost every day since that age sometimes multiple times in a given time frame, hour/ day and i know it is harmful to your body’s health if done repeatedly and done a lot in a given time so im trying to give up this habit now so i can let my body repair itself back to its natural state like when before i started masterbating. I made a goal to stay clean for a year or until i get some pussy or sexual pleasure from a woman but the longest i’ve been able to last is a month. Im finding this bad habit hard to break I can say its combarable to a nicotine, alcohol or even sex addiction just with my hand. I’ve been trying to stop now unsuccessfully for a year now but everytime i get an urge, thought of a naked sexually expicit woman , sex or fantasy i get hard want to touch myself, relapse and masterbate until ejaculation. I was thinking since i relapse so much could i just masterbate but stop every time i feel like im going to ejaculate would that still effect my body’s health? would it be like not touching and masterbating at all or is that still the same as masterbating until ejaculation??

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